The day was just like any other day for the most part. Nothing out of the ordinary, just another day at the office. Typical stuff, phone calls, paperwork, computer work, emails, and then at the end of the day, it all changed. A co-worker came into my office with a somber look on his face, and I could tell something was up, but I didn’t say anything as he stood there for a second. He finally looked at me and told me he needed to leave, that his wife had called, and his nephew had just shot and killed himself. It hit me like a ton of bricks, I couldn’t talk, all I could do was stare at the ceiling, and ask the air, WHY?
It seems as though suicide is running rampant in society these days. Those who know me, or have followed my blog know that I lost my wife to suicide back in the spring, so it could just be that I notice it more or am more aware, but I don’t think so. Just over a month ago, the shocking news of Robin Williams committing suicide came into the spotlight. Then, less than a month later, girl group singer Simone Battle did the very same thing. Our soldiers, teenagers, male, female, old people, young people, middle aged people, it is simply everywhere. WHY?
I don’t have any answers, I wish I did, it would sure make things a hell of a lot easier, but I don’t. Each case is unique, each person has had his or her own experience or situation that has caused them to do the unthinkable. In society there is a stigma associated with suicide, and it needs to be stopped. Mental Illness of any kind is a sickness just like cancer or something else. It is not something that should be looked down upon, or be ridiculed by society. It is serious, and is getting worse. WHY?
Once again, I do not have the answers, nor does anyone. All that we can do is raise awareness and be mindful of others. Being a survivor of suicide is something that definitely changes your life in EVERY way. You look at life differently, you look at society differently, you look at material things differently, and you look at others differently. People you know or even those you don’t know, could be fighting or dealing with something so traumatic, that at a particular moment a smile, a wave, or even an acknowledgement, maybe the one thing that could save their life at that time. Obviously awareness doesn’t mean it won’t happen. I was aware that my wife COULD take her own life, and I question myself everyday if there was something I could have done or said different that would have prevented it. I don’t have that answer either. All I know is she fought hard, just like everyone else that struggles with mental illness and disorders, but it overtook her. WHY?
I have decided to attach a link of one of my favorite songs, by one of my favorite bands. Coming Down, by Five Finger Death Punch. This was actually a song made a couple of years ago to raise suicide awareness, especially among teenagers. Watch it if you want, it is a little difficult to see some of it, especially the first half. The end, the part that really got to me, shows just how much a small act of kindness, can do to a person who is struggling.