I wasn’t real sure, if I would make this public or not, but some of you already know, I decided to seek out and go see a grievance counselor. At first, I wasn’t real sure it would be the right thing for me, but over the past week, I decided I would at least try, if anything see where I was. I also wanted to make sure I was doing the right things for my children, and if any advice could be given concerning them.
I was told the schedules and the routines will work themselves out. There is no way to keep what was the same obviously, which I guess makes sense. I have to develop new routines, and those will be come the new normal. I had been struggling with that for a while, I mentioned before about how I was functional, but not getting everything I need to done. I felt like I was neglecting some of my duties as a father because I could not be in four places at once. But, I was reassured that now, I need to make the routines how I need them to, to work out better for us.
I also felt reassured that I was in a good place. It may not be the easiest, but I am doing what I need to help me move forward. I had told the therapist that I was good and at peace with where my wife is, and now I just need to learn to move forward. Everyone grieves differently and in their own time, because everyone is different and everyone’s situation is different. That makes sense too. I think it truly does depend on the person. Heather knew, and I do too (even though it is hard to admit) that I am a strong person, and will get through it.
It seemed from what she told me, that the kids were doing pretty good, and gave me some tips on what to look for, so that I can be aware better of what they are feeling. That is a relief to me. I know it is equally difficult to them, but as long as I hold them close, check in with them, and keep the communication lines open, it will be okay.
I am grateful for the new friendships I am making, and am grateful for my friends and family that help me get through each day. Even though there are times that can be extremely difficult, especially those times when I am alone, I know I will be good. I will make it, and I just have to figure out the things that are going to make me happy now and move forward with them.
I am thinking or starters a nice vacation to myself in Costa Rica. . .maybe someday soon. LOL!