The Dangers of Assumptions

It has been quite some time since I have written anything, mostly due to the fact I have been struggling with things to write about.  I was talking to a good friend of mine on the phone a couple of weeks ago, who is an experienced and published writer, and I was explaining to him the scuffles I have within my brain to come up with something good and interesting to write about. He told me that I am trying way too hard, don’t sweat it, and take those everyday thoughts that I think so deeply on sometimes, and try and focus on those.  Even if they don’t produce reading material at that particular time, jot down the idea or thought and come back to it when ready.  He suggested that I may even keep some of them privately, that not everything has to be published.

So, as a new year begins, and with the advice of my friend,I intend to take those random thoughts and ideas I get so often and try and put them into words.   I’m sure most of the time it will come across as gibberish, or off the wall content, but as I have said in the past, it is my way of making sense of things.

To begin, I have been thinking a lot about assumptions.  Seems perfectly harmless, and most of the time, I think it is.  However, I believe we tend to assume way too much about things, some small, some much much bigger.  Assuming is something we tend to not think much about, I know I am guilty of it for sure.  For example, I assume my kids will be okay with hot dogs for dinner, and after they are all done and sitting on the table, one of my kids will always point out how much they DIDN’T want hot dogs for dinner.  Wrong assumption.  I know, seems pretty silly on the surface of it.  Let me explain a little further.

You’re stopped at an intersection where there is two-way traffic.  You look to your left and see a vehicle heading towards you with its turn signal on, hinting that it will be turning towards you at the intersection.  Instead of taking the few extra seconds to ensure the vehicle makes the turn, you ASSUME it will, and head out into the intersection.  All at once, the loud crunching sound followed by a tremendous and forceful impact.  Guess what?  You just got T-boned.  All due to an assumption.

Most importantly though, we tend to make way to many assumptions in our relationships with others.  I think all to often we tend to assume we know how others feel and/or what their needs are, instead of just taking a few seconds to ask.  We may see someone or know someone who seems (seems being the key word there) to be happy and outgoing, without a care in the world, only to later find out somehow that inside they were truly miserable or struggling with a particular issue for whatever reason.  On the other side of that, we may know or see people that seem (there it is again) miserable, or based on knowledge of things that may have happened to them or their experiences, we assume them to be unhappy or dealing with demons or bad things in their lives.  We treat them as such, thinking we know what they need or what is best for them, all for good reason, but finding out later it wasn’t necessary, and they were perfectly happy to begin with.

The point is, people have struggles, and people are happy.  They can even be both at the same time.  We should do our best to stop assuming we know what is best or what is needed, and instead focus on being a friend, or being a support, without making unnecessary assumptions.  We should let others live their lives how they need and want to, without letting our input and opinions get in the way.

Not sure what you think, but it Workes for me.