A Thought or Two About Suicide

The day was just like any other day for the most part. Nothing out of the ordinary, just another day at the office. Typical stuff, phone calls, paperwork, computer work, emails, and then at the end of the day, it all changed. A co-worker came into my office with a somber look on his face, and I could tell something was up, but I didn’t say anything as he stood there for a second. He finally looked at me and told me he needed to leave, that his wife had called, and his nephew had just shot and killed himself. It hit me like a ton of bricks, I couldn’t talk, all I could do was stare at the ceiling, and ask the air, WHY?

It seems as though suicide is running rampant in society these days. Those who know me, or have followed my blog know that I lost my wife to suicide back in the spring, so it could just be that I notice it more or am more aware, but I don’t think so. Just over a month ago, the shocking news of Robin Williams committing suicide came into the spotlight. Then, less than a month later, girl group singer Simone Battle did the very same thing. Our soldiers, teenagers, male, female, old people, young people, middle aged people, it is simply everywhere. WHY?

I don’t have any answers, I wish I did, it would sure make things a hell of a lot easier, but I don’t. Each case is unique, each person has had his or her own experience or situation that has caused them to do the unthinkable. In society there is a stigma associated with suicide, and it needs to be stopped. Mental Illness of any kind is a sickness just like cancer or something else. It is not something that should be looked down upon, or be ridiculed by society. It is serious, and is getting worse. WHY?

Once again, I do not have the answers, nor does anyone. All that we can do is raise awareness and be mindful of others. Being a survivor of suicide is something that definitely changes your life in EVERY way. You look at life differently, you look at society differently, you look at material things differently, and you look at others differently. People you know or even those you don’t know, could be fighting or dealing with something so traumatic, that at a particular moment a smile, a wave, or even an acknowledgement, maybe the one thing that could save their life at that time. Obviously awareness doesn’t mean it won’t happen. I was aware that my wife COULD take her own life, and I question myself everyday if there was something I could have done or said different that would have prevented it. I don’t have that answer either. All I know is she fought hard, just like everyone else that struggles with mental illness and disorders, but it overtook her. WHY?

I have decided to attach a link of one of my favorite songs, by one of my favorite bands.  Coming Down, by Five Finger Death Punch.  This was actually a song made a couple of years ago to raise suicide awareness, especially among teenagers.  Watch it if you want, it is a little difficult to see some of it, especially the first half.  The end, the part that really got to me, shows just how much a small act of kindness, can do to a person who is struggling.

5 thoughts on “A Thought or Two About Suicide

  1. Kendall F. Person, thepublicblogger

    Hey Kirby. Good to see you, my friend. Good for you having the strength to write on the subject of suicide and mental health. Someone out there will benefit from your story and your strength. When and if you are ready, let’s skype about working together again. No rush, no worries. Just glad you have stayed in touch.

  2. trisha roden

    Kirby, this is a very well written and heart-felt article. As we all know, mental health issues can lead to alcoholism, drug addiction, homelessness and death, either by a combination of the previous or by suicide.

    This, unfortunately, is not a new phenomenon, but with the internet and mass media coverage, we do tend to hear more about it. Sad as the thoughts of suicide can make us, bringing it out in the open, is in my opinion a good thing. Awareness can bring understanding.

    When I was growing up in the 70’s and 80’s, I lost no less than 10 friends to suicide. It was then as it is now, an ongoing problem. Understanding the hopelessness, despair and helpless feelings of the depressed may help to ease their pain, but ultimately, the choice to take one’s life can still be the only feeling of control that person has. It is NEVER the survivors fault.

    Whenever I have spoken with mental health providers, they inevitably ask, “Have you ever contemplated suicide?” My question back is always “hasn’t everyone?”

    Apparently not. For now, I choose to be kind to everyone and simply to live. God Bless you.

  3. saymber

    Wow — seems you and I have this nasty bug in common. My birth mother, her father and a cousin of mine committed suicide and I have wrestled with it personally many times. What’s always trumped the many “why’s” when I’ve ever considered it is knowing what it would do to all those I would leave behind. Suicide is a tsnunami that leaves debris in the lives of those left behind forever. We will never know “why” — just theories and more questions. All we can do as survivors of such a storm is love and forgive. Thanks for finding my blog — I am looking forward to your future posts. Random thoughts are the voice of muses. 🙂

    1. kworkes Post author

      Thank you so much for reading saymber. I think you are correct when you say what it leaves for those left behind to pick up the pieces. Even though I have been able to forgive, and move forward with my life, I still always question the how, even though I will never get that answer. The most important lesson I have learned through it all is to remember that we never know how or what one is dealing with, and to live and let live, but to be a support for those who are in need and never judge. Thank you again, your comments are appreciated.

  4. puppiesinparadise

    Hi Kworkes,

    I am so sorry to hear of your wife’s suicide. I can only imagine the impact that it has had on your children and you. I think Saymber is correct that it is like a tsunami riping apart your life, heart and very soul.
    When tragedy strikes I want to make something good out of it? Before you get furious with me for saying this, maybe you need to decide if you want to spread awareness through your blog. Maybe you want to organize people to fight the stigma against such depression that leads to medical break throughs. Many people before you created changes like mothers against drunk driving…. Find the thing that makes it easier to accept that the why, is a lifes mystery. I am so glad to hear that you have moved forward for yourself and your children.

    I too have had alcoholism, drug abuse and mental illness in my family history. I can empathize how difficult this is on the family members. The desperation in trying to help your loved ones….The helplessness with getting help in the existing medical care and legal quagmires. We are only human beings. We only have so much control in other peoples decision making. Accepting that we did everything we knew how to do to get them help at that moment for our loved ones. I hope you do not mind me saying this, May God bless you and help you find peace of mind.


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